I am a selfish mom!
Don’t get me wrong, I adore my children and feel they are blessings in my life. I would not change my situation nor do I wish I was someone else.
I enjoy my 6 children staying home with me, but I do have 10 confessions that I must admit. I often feel guilty about feeling these emotions at time, but I know it’s only the work of the devil.
He wants me to feel guilty.
He wants me to feel like a failure.
He wants me to feel ashamed.
He wants me to feel inadequate.
After 17 years of being a mom, I still struggle with these emotions. And I imagine, I always will struggle to some extent because I am human.
10 Confessions of a Selfish Mom
- At times I want to send my children to their rooms, just so I can experience some quiet time
- At times I get tired of waiting on them and making their meals and want to serve cereal for dinner
- At times I wish I could go out to lunch with my friends and have pretty nails instead of eating peanut butter sandwiches
- At times I don’t bathe my kids when needed because they always want to play in the tub too long
- Most of the time I dread my kids having friends over because it makes more work for me
- Most of the time I throw my children’s pictures away that they made for me
- All the time I hate playing the preschool games with them, such as, Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders
- All the time I hide candy from my kids in my underwear drawer and it has yet to fail me
- All the time I throw their tiny toys away such as legos when I see them on the ground
- Never do I give these emotions over to God completely
I agree it’s normal for me to feel these selfish thoughts at times, but it is a SIN to not give these emotions over to God. He already knows my thoughts, so He isn’t surprised in the least that I am a selfish mom. Since He lives in me, I know I can conquer another day, month, and years of being a mom. He never intended on me to do this mom thing along. Too often I forget He is there right with me. These are His children that He entrusted me with and I MUST rely on Him completly or I will fail again.
Remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth – Deuteronomy 8:18
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At times, I want to send my children and husband away, so I can clean in peace and enjoy a spotless house for more than 10 minutes.
Oh yes, me too!
Oh, Natasha…That is SOOOOOOO me!
At times I send my daughter to a friends how to play, husband to his buddys just so I can read uninterupted for an hour or two. I also quit listening 10 seconds into my daughters conversations because they are always about some book, game or tv show and i find my self annoyed with her because she insist on tell me these things. I keep my temper in check, close my mouth and nod my head….if i dont listen now…she wont tell me things later. Glad to know I am not the only mom who feels these things.
Me too! 🙂
i skip pages when i read books at night, ( i am so sick of go dog go) just so bedtime stories end faster.
Oh, I do this all the time. But beware if it’s a book that you have read a gazillion time, they will call you on it.
That list could be my list! And yes, I need to give it to the Lord and pray through all of it.
I also have been counseled by some Godly women that it is good for me to have an outing on my own once in awhile. I try for once a month, but it doesn’t always work out.
Yes, having a night out is always FUN! Try to make it happen. Make it a point!
I homeschool my 4 kids under 9 years old. I am with them 24 hours a day, hardly ever get away to listen to my own thoughts unless it’s in the wee dark hours of the morning when I rise so that I can be awake in my house and not hear chaos, so I booked a couple hotel rooms at a nice resort in Palm Springs for the weekend after Mother’s Day where I will spend a lovely weekend away from men and children with my friends. I can’t tell you how excited I am about this! This is going to be my Mother’s Day gift to myself EVERY YEAR from now on! And after yesterday, not even receiving a card from anyone in my family and having to slave cleaning my house and entertaining everyone else for Mother’s Day, I don’t even feel guilty about it, lol!
This is so great, thank you! 🙂
When nobody is home, I eat my daughter’s fruit snacks and sing “Let It Go” at the top of my lungs…… if my family only knew!
Thank you so much for your honesty! I had to laugh because it felt good knowing I’m not alone in being selfish at times! I could relate to almost all of them! Praise God He never gives up on us!
Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had waited to have kids. Don’t misunderstand…I love my stepson (12) and my daughter (7) but occasionally I see all the people I went to school with taking awesome vacations, partying at bars and clubs with friends, or just having a peaceful weekend at the lake. As I have been with my husband since I was 18 and had my daughter at 20 I stepped into an instant family and made it larger pretty quickly I wonder what things would have been like if I had waited and had those opportunities. I wonder what it would be like to have friends as I don’t really have friends anymore. I love my husband and kids more than anything….but sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to just be me for a while…I don’t really remember ever just being myself without the labels of high school and trying to be someone else to fit in or without the label of mom and wife. I wonder who is “Tiffany.” I’m not sure of myself and am insecure in that sometimes. And not being a person with any religious affiliations anymore I don’t really have anyone to turn to with my feelings, God, friends, even family isn’t close enough to me emotionally to confide in. I wonder………
I will be glad to be your friend! This is just a season, someday you will have the opportunity to be just you. I encourage you to reach out to others. It might be hard at first, but you need to take the initiative to make it happen. I will be praying for you and most importantly, I hope you will open the doors to the Lord, he adores you and longs for you to have a relationship with Him.
Tiffany, I understand your thoughts and the rawness of your emotions… But, I come from the opposite perspective. I, on the other hand, had to wait 8 years before The Lord blessed us with out twins. I look at my friends as they are in their early 40’s and beginning to have empty nest and begin the journeys that entail that and I still have elementary children at home (and I homeschool). Never doubt Gods plan for you and your family and that it is perfect! We may not always see the purpose and we will often feel alone. But take heart, God is helping remind us of our need for Him! He promises to never leave nor forsake us… Press in and know we will all see more clearly when we reach the other side! 🙂
I am not alone, yah! I myself often wonder what it would be like if i didn’t have my babies. But quickly realized i’m so blessed with them that they are my strength to keep going. I’m a single mother of 2 and sometimes 3. I work second shift so i don’t get much time with them during school yr and even then my selfish moment is when sometimes i have a short shift i actually impose i’m workin all day just to have that extra time to myself. I know its wrong by far but finding someone to watch my kids so i can have a day to myself is impossible when their with a sitter all week. Don’t get me wrong they are my life, sometimes all mothers need a moment to themselves.
Yes, yes, and YES! Jesus went on the hill to pray alone.
With hind sight being 20-20 they grow up way too quick I wish I could tuck mine in at night or read a bed time story just once more.
Yeah…another problem I have is that most of the time I feel like a single mom because my husband works out of town half the time and when he is home he is stuck in our basement office at the computer working. I’m hoping to feel better about everything soon because in a few weeks i have a family trip with 12 of my mother’s relatives to the tiny town my grandpa was raised in. My husband, of course, has to work so he is unable to come but maybe getting out of town for a weekend will break up some of the monotony. Not looking forward to the 6 hour drive with 4 kids and 2 senior citizens which will cause it to be a 8+ hour drive each way in the end but it’s worth it to spend a special weekend with family!
Don’t feel bad about cereal for dinner!!!!! Do it!!
Thank you for sharing your struggles. I too am challenged to be the perfect mother and wind up feeling guilty most of the time. We are all a work in progress.